Do you feel drained? You have no more energy and you just can’t wait to hit the bed, and when you’re finally there your mind starts playing those weird “Omg, what if…” games with you so you can’t fall asleep? Guess what? It’s all your fault. You are stressing too much over things that don’t deserve a minute of your attention.
I’ve recently started reading this amazing book called “The subtle art of not giving a f**k”. Two words for it – life changing. It came just in the right moment when I was stressing over what’s going to happen in 5 years, how to change someone who doesn’t want to change and why the hell the weather in Ireland is so bad all the time (big thing for someone who is used to get loads of sun). Then with the help of the book I realized (I had an idea of it before, but now it struck me): some things aren’t meant to be changed, but accepted.
Easy as that, but that’s the most common thing in life: we oversee small things that are actually huge, and we tend to complicate things when they are just black or white. No turquoise, no polka dots. Plain black or white.
Cure to stressing out too much is to make wiser choices what matters in life and what doesn’t.
Stop blaming yourself
People tend to blame themselves for so many things and they overdo the negative self-talk (Kristine knows the importance of this and helped me change this bad habit, thanks for that girlJ). Stop blaming yourself for every coffee spilt, for every missed call, for every stray animal you meet. It’s not your duty to make the whole world right. Things happen and stressing over them just makes everything worse. Yes, you spilt the coffee on your new trousers. No big deal, you will wash them, and if the stain is still there, it’s just a damn pair of trousers. It’s a bit rough to say this but this is the horrible truth: some people have no legs and you are stressing over a stain on trousers you bought. How selfish is that? You might think blaming yourself can’t be selfish but it is. So stop doing that. You are not perfect, you are just human and we all make mistakes, bad choices, fall in love with pricks and trust that girl who’s still bitching about us behind our back. Accept the fact that mistakes happen and you’ll feel relieved next time you fail to be perfect.
Accept, don’t change
Some things aren’t meant to change (like the weather in Ireland J ), and it’s up to us to accept them or look for something else (I might move to Spain). For example, your boss is in an awful form this morning (or every morning). Accept the fact that he’s having a bad day (or year) and isolate yourself from it. Build a wall to block negative emotions. Focus on things that make you feel good. If you can, listen to music at work, or if you can’t, when you see your negativity is building up, close your eyes, breathe and imagine something that makes you smile: your silly pet, your family, drunk fails (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkpOxb56Jq4 don’t try this at home! ). It is scientifically proven how our emotions brighten up when we think of something nice or funny, our brain activity changes and it makes the switch from focusing and building negative thoughts to positive thinking. Divert your thoughts from momentum and you will be just fine after a couple of minutes.
Sitting where you are and crying over bad things going on, while forgetting about all the good sides, is victimizing yourself. STOP BEING A VICTIM. You are the only one in charge of your life. Yes, you CAN just pick up your stuff and move to another place if you’re not happy here. It is a lot of hassle but you CAN do it. You also can start a course you want to. You have a job? No problem, you CAN do it from home. There’s plenty of online courses. All you need is time, and if you start whining how you don’t have enough time that means you don’t really want to learn.
I bought this workout shirt in Penney’s, it says NO EXCUSES on it. It’s the best shirt ever. I paid €3 for this endless dose of motivation. It’s very simple, black, and it reminds me how life is what we make out of it.
[caption id="attachment_92" align="aligncenter" width="451"] My Shirt :)[/caption]
You don’t have time for stress
60, or 70 or 80 years might sound like plenty of time, but the truth is - it’s gone in a blink of an eye and all you are left with is “God, like it happened yesterday!” But no, it wasn’t yesterday. It was 20 years ago, or 30. Use your time wisely. Invest your time smartly, because your life is a product of your time management. Don’t waste minutes thinking why things went wrong, why you split up with your ex and what you should have done years ago. It’s PAST. Life is too short to waste time thinking about anything else but NOW and the things that truly MATTER such as family, friends, your partner. Use the time you’re stressing out over something for doing productive things such as writing a diary, visualization, meditation, eating an apple.
Take a week off from stressing out. Give yourself a trial period and every time you lose your temper, find a thing (bracelet, amulet, ring, picture, etc.) that will remind you what in life truly matters. Hold on to it, breathe for a couple of minutes and relax. Keep reminding yourself life is too short for stressing. Just like the book says, there will be more important things to “give f**k about”, so keep your care currency for something else but small daily manifests of human imperfection.