feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that one has done or failed to do)
How many times you heard people saying: “ I wish I could…” or “I wish I was…”
I know I heard it too many times.
Just recently I quit my job to go full time teaching Zumba and Zumba kids because that was something I always wanted to do, it was my dream ever since I started dancing (almost 10 years now). It was NOT an easy decision to make, especially when I knew I am not earning as much as I’d want to to feel like I can make a living out of teaching, but guess what? I took the risk and I made a promise to myself I WILL DO IT and I will make living out of dancing (Zumba of course :P)
I always dreamed of doing this, but the AHA moment in my life was two and half years ago, when I was working in the office, 9-6pm, stuck between the four walls, deeply unhappy and with lowest self-confidence I had in my whole life.
I was a prisoner of feeling incompetent, less worth and highly unlikely to succeed in life. Unfortunately this feeling is mutual for a lot of people in my environment, and I guarantee you know good few people who feel this way too, if not yourself first.
It was when I kept looking through the window at the hares running around (we were in an industrial estate and there was a lot of hares around for some reason) and I remember I kept thinking how I’d love to be free like they are. I’d love to be free from this cage of unhappiness, negativity and underachievement. I felt as if my time is running out and I am doing absolutely nothing with time I was given. It all looked pretty much pointless at that stage.
That’s when I stopped and asked myself: “What makes me happy? What is it that I love doing more than anything?”
Naturally dancing came up as an answer and I knew that is my dream job and that I have to pursue my dream because what is life worth if every day is the same, if I wake up with dreading going to work and hating myself for the rest of my life, just for the sake of money and career I don’t enjoy?
I decided to quit full-time job a lot of people envy me for having, and to find a part-time job that would give me more free time to do what I love.
Again: “Oh, I wish I could do that!” people approached me, feeling the self-pity and playing the role of a victim of circumstances. I always had one answer ready:
“You CAN do it.”
Their puzzled faces were a clear sign they never thought of doing it because they too are in prison of unhappiness and misery, but decided to stay trapped because of financial benefits, and also because of all sorts of stereotypes and “Jesus, what would people think if I did that” kind of shite.
I truly hope I inspired some of them to stop and think if they are living the life, or are they mimicking life.
That was it. Wrote a resignation letter and as a reason I put the truth – I want to teach dance classes.
I bet you my boss burst laughing when he read that, but guess what? Did it matter to me? You will face ridicule on the way to doing what you love, it is a clear sign you are on the right way.
Thankfully I found a lovely job with family owned business, they were super supportive and I learned so much working there. It was like I was meant to be there, to grow until I was finally ready to take the final step and make the dream come true.
Somewhere along the way our gorgeous baby girl Marija came and made things a bit more challenging, but it is all part of development and growth.
Yes, there was times when I doubted and was on the verge, but we are only human, and humans are extremely vulnerable and sensitive, so I gave myself grace and time to get back on track.
Marija brightened up my spirit even more and she is one of the main reasons why I want to succeed in my mission – to encourage people to go after what they love, because one day she will be inspired by that too.
Long time ago I read a book about one girl who was looking after dying people (I actually saw a book with similar idea the other day in Easons – biggest regrets of dying, definitely worth trying!).
The people she spent time with were all different ages, backgrounds, diagnoses etc, but they all had ONE thing in common.
They regretted something.
They regretted things they DIDN’T do, not the ones they did.
They regretted not saying “I love you” often enough.
They regretted not taking a trip they wanted to.
They regretted not trying acting classes or singing lessons.
They regretted not calling that someone they wanted to.
Life is too short to live from day to day, without having a goal, a purpose, without being happy.
We are bombarded with all “Happy” quotes daily but how many of us really stop, read and try to comprehend the true meaning and the weight behind all those words?
Here is a little challenge for you, if you feel stuck or if you feel like you reached a stage in life where nothing is happening anymore for you.
Take an hour or two break from being a mom, wife, dad, husband, daughter, sister, boss, retail assistant, customer assistant and go to a quiet place or a place where you can be on your own without being disturbed.
Take a blank sheet of paper and write on top WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY.
List all of the things that make you smile, feel happy or just things that you really love and enjoy.
Back then when I made my list my top three things were
2.Dogs (yes, I watch those funny videos on YT, anything that makes me laugh is good!)
3.My husband/being loved
It can be anything from sunshine to eating avocado and bacon sourdough sandwich in Yummy's (nomnom)
Take your time.
Sip your coffee and just relax.
Allow yourself time for yourself. Allow yourself to unwind and try to understand yourself better.
When you are finished with that, take a new sheet and write
WHAT DO I WANT
Such an important question. Stop and think.
What do you want from life, from work, from relationships?
Do you want to earn from doing what you love? Do you want a nice house, or want to travel more often? Do you want your family to respect you and love you more?
Putting things down on paper will help you see clearly you thoughts because most of time they are just a messy bunch in your head, like a rain cloud hovering over you, making you confused and unorganised (sounds familiar?) This mess can keep you up at night, playing with your mind and coming up with all these weird scenarios of things that are highly unlikely to happen. Why? Because you didn't control your thoughts so they just go around making havoc in your mind and in your reality too, this I know from personal experience. Anxiety, poor self-image, lack of motivation and depression are all symptoms of overthinking and poor thought control but this is topic for next time ;)
Once you have your two lists read them few times. Read them and try to see if this is really it, if you are being honest with yourself.
This is hardest part of chasing your dream. First you have to find out what your dream is and so many times we are living the life our parents wants us to live, or our partner, or someone else. It might seem silly, but if you really analyse people around you I am sure you will find plenty of examples – people who live the life others expect them to.
If you found out what your dream is, don’t be afraid of it.
It might be HUGE, or it might seem OK.
If it’s ok, make it HUGE because it is your dream and it has to be MASSIVE.
You are not mediocre.
If you came so far in reading this it means you are intelligent enough to make decisions what information is useful and what not. You are smart, beautiful, strong and CAPABLE of doing ANYTHING you want so make a decision to live the life to fullest and have no regrets.
Hold on to your dream and work hard to make it happen, but before working hard, you have to believe in yourself first, and then the world and the Universe too will believe it and make it happen!